Full Disclosure (or, how open should I be?)

I've been open about having Asperger's from the very beginning of my career in speech-language pathology, having told my professors that if I wasn't making eye contact that they shouldn't take it personally and that yes, I really was paying attention to what they were saying. This took pressure off of me and allowed me to listen and absorb knowledge in the best way I knew how (by copying the powerpoint notes into a word document; I'm a visual-kinesthetic learner). When you're a student, the people around you are there to help you learn and become better at your discipline. It was advantageous for my instructors to know that I learned differently, and it helped them to help me when I needed it. It also meant I could get disability accommodations when I needed them. I was able to take many of my tests in a quiet space with few distractions while wearing noise-canceling headphones, for example.

However, being open about having Asperger's (or some other difference/disorder) when you're a student is different from being open about it as an interviewee or employee. You're there to be the best at your job. You're not there to learn the basics of how to do your job, even when you're a clinical fellow. In my case, I'm there to treat students with communication disorders and get along with other people. So how do I cope with constant face-to-face interaction and the eye contact that's expected to go with it? How do I keep from being perceived as rude when I stop someone in the hallway to ask a question and don't realize that they're in a hurry? How do I know when someone is telling a joke?

I'm lucky to be in a field where there is so much autism. I took the advice of my internship supervisor and kept quiet about having an ASD until I was hired and I'd figure out who I would be working with most frequently. Then I told those few people. I didn't tell the whole school, and I didn't make it the first thing anyone knew about me. But telling the special education team at my "home" school about myself took lots of pressure off of me, and it meant they could understand that I wasn't trying to be rude or dumb. They know that if I approach them and they're not able to talk, they can say so and I won't take it as an insult. I also know that I can expect them to be honest if I'm interrupting them. It doesn't mean I don't have to pay attention to whether or not they're walking fast or what their facial expressions say, but it also means they know I don't always make the right guess and that I don't mean any offense. I'm not so preoccupied with trying to predict what people are feeling or thinking, so I'm able to devote more energy to being a good clinician.

The moral of the story (and I suppose this is a story) is that sometimes it's good to be open. Disclosure of one's diagnosis has been a topic of discussion (and contention) in the Asperger's community on LiveJournal and on other forums. What I did won't work for everyone. But I would do it again. Maybe my story and actions will give some guidance to others.

Next post - How to do speech therapy on a budget and without much in the way of materials. Or how I do it, at least.